Tag: travel writing

What if…I feel the fear and do it anyway? The start of my Journey to 200.

It was the winter of 2001 when I saw the ad. The whole country was reeling from the 9/11 attacks. The dust was still settling over the two craters in the earth where the twin towers had been, and the collective heartache was palpable.

I was a travel agent at the time of the attacks and my entire industry felt unsteady. Layoffs were happening around me and travel shops nationwide were silently shuttering their storefronts. I wondered what was next for me if my job, my career, disappeared.

I was looking for something, anything, to soothe the constant anxiety I felt boiling in my stomach. All of the ‘What If…‘ questions racing through my head were keeping me up at night. What if... I lost my job. What if…the travel industry collapsed? What if…I could not continue living in San Francisco? Where would I go, what would I do?

By the time December hit I found that I was depressed, anxious, and feeling completely out of my body. I scribbled out my New Year’s Resolutions to take better care of myself, to find something, anything, that would let me take some of my power back.

I found a tattered paperback copy of Richard Hittleman’s 28 day yoga plan (original publication date 1983) at a thrift store for $2 and dedicated myself to his method. The black and white photos of the nearly naked swami led me through asana on my living room floor. At the end of the 28 days I noticed I was feeling a bit better. I reasoned that if at-home yoga was good, surely in-studio yoga would be better. As I searched for studios in the Bay Area, the ad popped up: Free Yoga Teacher Training.

The teacher’s name was Tai Sheridan, PhD. Tai was a zen buddhist priest and in response to the 9/11 attacks he was choosing 12 people to take part in his teacher training for absolutely no cost. The training was not about core strength, the depth of your downward dog, or how strong your headstand was. Instead Tai was hoping to spread peace. He reasoned that if he taught teachers how to access loving kindness within themselves, they would go out into the world and teach others how to do the same. He hoped that this would tip the cosmic balance back into a place of love rather than hate.

Impulsively, I applied. There was no logic to this decision. I was a complete novice at yoga. I had never taken a studio class and all of my training had come from a long haired swami in a diaper from a publication nearly twenty years old. I told Tai in my application that while I wanted to join, I worried I wasn’t ready. Would the downward dogs I did while watching Friends be good enough?

I was stunned when I received my acceptance letter. Stunned and a bit panicked. New ‘what if’ questions flooded in. What if…I am not strong enough? What if…I am not ready? As the travel industry continued to crumble around me, I felt that I had no choice. This was going to be my new path.

I faced my fear and each Friday I would drive across the Golden Gate Bridge toward Marin County, the sun and the fog doing battle as the city receded behind me. There was the asana practice in the morning followed by long meditations. In the afternoon we would discuss theory and the practicalities of teaching. And every time we gathered we somehow drifted into long group discussions about the events of 9/11. We cried together as we processed the loss we collectively shared. In this sacred place we healed. I walked away a year later feeling hopeful for my blossoming career as a yoga instructor.

But life had other plans.

I went through a divorce. The travel industry did crumble. I moved out of state. I searched for stability and built an entirely new career, one that paid the bills. Yoga, as much as it had been the thing that healed me all those years ago, became the hobby I did only occasionally as the years slipped by.

It has been 22 years since that yoga teacher training, and oh how life has continued to change, shift, ebb, flow, and delight. That great destabilizing time in my life pushed me out the other side better for it. I discovered love again, married a wonderful man, went back to school, and found a calling that helped others. It wasn’t yoga, but I was spreading peace in my own small way.

Yoga still calls to me. Perhaps that is why, on an impulse not unlike the one twenty years ago, I applied for another yoga teacher training. And just like last time I am pushing myself into uncomfortable territory. The fears are almost identical to how I felt twenty years ago. Am I ready physically? Am I ready emotionally? My last training was gentle and healing, but this practice promises to be intense and invigorating. At nearly 44 years old, I wonder: Am I too old to be doing this? Will I be the oldest there? Will my body withstand the month of daily asana? Will my mind be patient enough for the half hour daily meditations? I am nowhere near getting into a headstand, is that a problem?

I let the thoughts wash over me and take a deep belly breath. As I slow my racing thoughts, a new, surprising ‘what if’ question presents itself.

What if…I can absolutely do it, and be better off for it?

In that moment of clarity I feel something shift. I am going, age be damned, ability be damned. If I have learned anything in life it is the power of feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Middle age can feel ominous. I try to remind myself of who I am: a bad-ass Gen-Xer who does not have to let herself be defined by age. In that ageless space I take this moment and say Fuck It.

Here we go.

I leave for Spain in less than a week to complete my training. I plan to keep weekly updates on my Journey to 200 Hours. I hope you join me.

xo

Italian: Level 1

My beloved and I made a deal before our European adventure: He would try to learn some French, and I would study Italian. This would cover us, we figured, for the month that lay ahead of us. My Italian would help us through a five day hike through the Dolomites, Venice, Cinque Terra, and Florence. Then we would head to the South of France and finally Paris, where my beloved would navigate us with his French.

Fluency felt like a fool’s errand since I was starting from scratch, so I set a goal that felt achievable: order an Americano or a bowl of pasta without sounding like a complete jackass. Every morning leading up to the trip I poured myself a large cup of coffee and settled in with my Duolingo app, the little cartoon characters cheering me along. By the time we landed in Italy, I could clumsily order food and drink.

When we started planning our return to Italy, I realized I wanted to get serious about Italian. Now that I had this foundation, I glibly told myself, what if I became fluent? The fact that I reasoned a few months of Duolingo was a foundation was already magical thinking, but the dream had taken root. I caught myself daydreaming of my newfound fluency, my head thrown back in laughter, sharing a joke with a local as I trilled along in flawless Italian.

I searched for classes at the local community college. I looked for Italian tutors. I explored small language schools. It was around this time that I read a piece by David Sedaris, where he referenced that he used Pimsleur to help him learn languages. If it’s good enough for David, I reasoned, it’s good enough for me. On that logic alone, I downloaded Pimsleur and away I went.

I would pop in my headphones and take our dog for her morning walk, zig-zagging my way through the cul-de-sac, mumbling out loud as I repeated phrases that left me wondering what in the hell was going on in Italy.

Marco: “Do you speak Italian?”
Gabriella: “A little.”
Marco: “When can we eat?”
Gabriella: “Not now.”
Marco: “Later? Can we eat together a little later?”
Gabriella: “No, not now, and not later.”
Marco: “What about ten?”

I found myself mentally chastising Marco. She said no, Marco! Leave her be! Then, a plot twist.

Gabriella: “No, I am married and will not have dinner with you.”
Marco: “You are married? Where is your husband?”
Gabriella: “He is back at the hotel.”

I thought about the people I passed by as I walked. Did they speak Italian? What must they think of this woman muttering to herself this Italian soap opera? I began questioning the Pimsleur method, and frankly, David Sedaris, but pressed on. Gabriella returned to the hotel ostensibly safe and I returned home, hoping that this would all somehow pay off.

I practiced every day, wondering to myself who was responsible for the scripting over at Pimsleur. After the, let’s call it pushy, section between Marco and Gabriella, we progressed to the section dedicated solely to asking after someone’s family. This felt like less dangerous territory to tread into, but I found myself rolling my eyes and questioning whether or not I would find any real purpose in knowing how someone’s child was, how old someone’s child was, how many grandchildren someone had, and where on earth all of these children lived currently and in the past. Where were the phrases that would get me checked into a hotel? Or the phrases that would educate me on finding the best pasta in Cefalu?

Trust the process, I chastised myself. Just keep going.

By the time we landed in Palermo, I had finished Level 1. I realized all of the conversations I had been listening to had given me the power to string together a reasonable sentence to check us in to a hotel after all. I was still patting myself on the back by the time we hit the street on the hunt for Real. Italian. Pasta. We made our way to a highly lauded ristorante promising molto autentico Sicilian cuisine. We walked in and, discovering that no one spoke English, I realized that this was it, this was my moment.

I cobbled together words for “Table” and “for two”, undoubtedly from the section with Marco and Gabriella, and was pleased when the woman responded kindly. After ordering, I noticed an older gentleman hovering around our table. As soon as I made eye contact he rushed over to check on us. As it turned out, this was the owner of the restaurant, and the woman who sat us, his adult daughter. And here it was, Pimsleur in all their glory coming through for me.

“How many children do you have?” I asked, my memorized lines from Pimsleur flooding back. His eyes lit up and he smiled as he told me he had three children, and six grandchildren. Then he proceeded to show me pictures of everyone. When I asked where everyone lived, both past and present, he answered with delight. Eventually he drifted away and we enjoyed our pasta and seafood, my eyes wide staring at my beloved. “Well I’ll be damned. Pimsleur worked.”

We are currently planning our next trip. This time we will be five weeks in Spain and I have again turned to Pimsleur for help. Now as I waltz the streets with my dog on her leash, muttering phrases about needing to work hard, I feel confident that someday soon I will be in a conversation and think: Well I’ll be damned. Pimsleur worked.

Hipster coffee in Scottsdale

As a Seattle transplant to The Valley of Sun I have found nearly everything to be a welcomed change of pace. Less traffic, faster drivers, more sun, etc.

But one thing that Seattle wins at is (not surprisingly) coffee. Plop yourself on nearly any city street of Seattle and you will find yourself in the nearby radius of a turbo cool, small business coffee shop that takes their beans (and themselves) very, very seriously.

Now, I’m not against big box coffee shops per se. But I do love supporting small businesses and I do love a hipster coffee shop where the foam is light and the roast is dark.

So if you find yourself in the Scottsdale area and on the hunt for a good cup of joe, here are two places to try.

1) Mythical Coffee: 10269 N Scottsdale Rd Scottsdale, AZ 85253

Mythical coffee was the first hidden gem I discovered in Scottsdale. Started in Gilbert, this northern location uses their own roasted beans and even offers a monthly roasters box delivered right to your door.

For those looking for decaf, they offer an organic Honduran roast that is Swiss water processed. The coffee shop itself is HUGE, complete with plenty of work tables and couches to hang out on. Lovely.

2) Street Brew Coffee: 10634 N 71st Pl, Scottsdale, AZ 85254

I found this place killing time while running an errand in the neighborhood l, and find myself stopping back in time and time again. While they do not roast their own, they partner with a local roaster who provides them their beans.

They have a simple menu, homemade pastries, and a nitro brew on tap. The space is small but offers a few tables and a nice couch set up for those who work remote or just want to get out of the house.

How not to die while swimming with dolphins

I am not entirely sure when the dream to swim with dolphins started to take root. Was it one of the endless summer days I spent swimming in a docile lake, pretending I was a dolphin? Was it their understood kindness, their keen intellect, their impressive flips? I had heard of tours where one could swim with dolphins, but every time I took a closer at the pamphlets, I grew discouraged by what I saw. Glossy photographs of large dolphins, small containers, tourists slicked over in sunscreen in a glorified fish tank clinging to miserable looking dolphins. No thanks.

In New Zealand I found what I thought would be a true swimming with dolphin experience. This tour was not held in a tank hanging off a dock of some tourist-trap resort. Instead, we would board a boat and swim with a pod of bottlenose dolphins in the wild. This, I thought, would be magical.

We boarded the boat and cruised through the glassy water, our captain safety briefing us and then discussing the plan. They were tracking the different pods of dolphins, and because of conservation laws, we could only have so much time with each pod before we would have to turn back. “I’m following one right now and I’m pretty sure we will get you in the water very soon!” He chirped over the loudspeaker, and with that, my beloved and I gazed out at the magnificent scenery along the New Zealand coastline.

As promised, it was not long and we were nearly on top of a pod. Only now, as I gazed below the boat into the dark blue vastness of the water, did I realize that my smug desire to swim with dolphins in the wild might actually be… dangerous.

“They’re right below us!” Our captain exclaimed, and I nodded quietly as I looked and saw absolutely nothing. “Quick! Put on your wetsuits!”

Everyone on the boat scrambled to find a wetsuit, each of us struggling to get the neoprene over our bodies while rocking gently on a boat and trying to hurry before the pod disappeared.

Wetsuits on, we were handed snorkel masks and our next set of instructions: each of us were to sit on the back of the boat, from which two long bars extended off each side.

“So when I say ‘go’,” our captain explained, “grab hold of the bar, and scootch out to the end, then the next person will go, and so on. There should be four people on each bar.” We all looked at each other.

“Then,” he went on, “we are going to pull you through the water with the pod.”

Was it the use of the word “scootch”? Perhaps it was the precarious nature of keeping a death grip on the metal bar, each of us undoubtedly mentally recounting pull ups in gym class and questioning our strength. We all seemed to share a collective “WTF” thought.

I was starting to feel the panic rise in my chest just as the other crew prodded us to get moving, and, stuck in between two others, I had no choice but to scootch my way into the deep blue.

Clinging to the bar, I dipped my head below the surface and saw the tunnel of darkness. No dolphins. “They are down there!” The crew cheered to us, which enhanced the terrifying feeling of a great unknown just below my feet.

Just when I thought it could get no worse, the engines next to me roared, and like a piece of bait on a line, I was being dragged through the freezing dark blue waters. I tried to leave my head below water, but the force of the boat motoring through the choppy waters had me skipping across the surface like a stone.

It didn’t take long before common sense bubbled to the surface and I raised my hand, signaling to pull me in from the deep dark sea. Others did the same and it was time to turn back from the pod.

Disappointed, I shed my wetsuit and wrapped myself in a towel and stared off into the distance, trying to make sense of what had just happened. Just as I came to terms with the fact that this trip was a complete flop, something caught my eye.

Right next to the boat a fin emerged, then another. Soon, we were surrounded by dolphins, some leaping out of the water, others swimming just below the surface.

I stared in awe as they danced around us, grateful for this magical moment. It might not have been the experience I had planned, but as I hung my feet off the bow of the boat, the dolphins creating beneath me, I realized it was still a dream come true.

Renting Bikes in Amsterdam

“I think it’s just up here.” Brie was leading us to the bike rental shop, eyes steady on her phone as the little dot on Google Maps brought us to our destination. It was our second day in Amsterdam, and, jetlagged, we found ourselves out the door so early our voices echoed off the buildings.

We lifted our gaze to find the address and realized we were no longer alone. The man in our path was close to seven feet tall, with broad shoulders and a mop of wild curls pointing in every direction. And he appeared to be…dancing. He spun around in tight circles, eyes closed, smile on his face, jumping high and clapping his hands to a beat only he could hear.

Brie and I shared a glance. Years of city living conditions you for how to respond in moments like this: trying to remain neutral when a naked man boards the train, crossing the street when a woman screaming at herself starts moving your way. We slowed our pace, assessing the situation: Was he coming home from an all-night bender on cocaine? Was this a psychotic episode? A whirling dervish? Our new friend did a quick spin through an open door. That’s when we saw it: “Bike Rental”

We had arrived.

He danced back out of the shop and onto the street. We approached slowly, steeling ourselves.

“I have a reservation?” Brie held out her phone, showing him the screen.

“YES!” He screamed at us in a thick Greek accent. “WONDERFUL!”

He danced around us in a circle. “MY NAME IS NICO!” He shouted. “NICO IS A GREEK NAME! I AM GREEK!” His voice lowered conspiratorially as he leaned down towards us. “This is the name that is born from Nicholas, which means ‘victory of the people’. What are your names?” We answered obediently. A cloud of confusion passed over his face when Brie introduced herself.

“Like the cheese.” She offered.

The cloud cleared and his smile was back. He clapped his hands together and did a spin, laughing loudly. “BRIE!” He screamed. “BRIE! LIKE THE CHEESE!”

We got down to the business of choosing our large, slow bikes, all of which were tattered and in questionable repair. He continued to dance around us, arms akimbo. “Okay! Now! You give me your license in exchange for the bike.” Handing over an important document to any stranger draws a beat of trepidation, but this had me wondering what the Dutch black market looked like for American Driver’s Licenses.

Then I felt something shift. Instead of feeling nervous, I found myself feeling… charmed. Nico was full of verve and delight, dancing his way through life, radiating joy. I thought about my own guardedness and felt something soften. Why was I not dancing through life? When had I become so tough?

As we pedaled away from Nico and our important documents, I promised myself to let down my guard a little more, and to let joy in.

Just like Nico.